Hey! I Wasn't Done with News of the Weird Yet!

Yesterday, I "wrote" this post from Yahoo's News of the Weird as a one shot, but the were a few other notable stories from both News of the Weird and Yahoo Odd News that I thought I'd bring to your attention for, paradoxically enough, jaw-dropping-ness and discussion, simultaneously.

First, how about this one:

The Franciscan Sisters of Perpetual Prayer order in La Crosse, Wis., is now in its 131st consecutive year of around-the-clock prayer, in shifts, at its Adoration Chapel. The Sisters' ritual is based on an 1865 promise by the order's superior that if God graced their ministries with success, they would build a chapel and pray non-stop. [Journal Sentinel (Milwaukee), 5-6-09]

I have to say, I think that's pretty remarkable. Let's put this achievement another way. If we just use 130 years, the Franciscan Sisters have been praying straight for 1,139,580 hours (including the extra days for Leap Years). If I make it five minutes in prayer to my Lord without distracted thoughts -- and that rarely happens -- I consider that an achievement.

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Here's another write-up, this one about Scientology leaders that "screw up", whatever that means:

LEAD STORY: Former Scientology officials describe a violent training program that's not quite Marine boot camp but nothing like a cloistered monastery.

Scientology trains its leaders a good deal more aggressively than other religions do, judging by the revelations by four former church officials to the St. Petersburg Times in June. In an exercise concocted by founder L. Ron Hubbard, leaders who screw up are taken out to sea and forced off a gangplank with the admonition, "We commit your sins and errors to the deep and trust you will rise a better Thetan (immortal spiritual being)." The rituals can also take place in a cold swimming pool, with the transgressors in business suits. Also, to test leaders' commitment, the head Scientologist, with a boombox, conducts games of musical chairs to reward the last man sitting (using the music of Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody": "Is this the real life? / Is this just fantasy? / Caught in a landslide / No escape from reality"). [St. Petersburg Times, 6-23-09]

I'm not a Scientologist, and really, I don't have much to say about how religions discipline their leadership. It just seemed strange enough to have made the paper, and I wondered if other people knew about rituals like this. Is the paper correct?

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In the least competent criminals section, I caught this one that I thought was funny:

WCBS-TV (New York City) reported (illustrated with the store's surveillance video) the unsuccessful robbery of Mohammed Sohail's deli in Shirley, N.Y., in June, in which Sohail surprised the perp with a shotgun. Suddenly, as Sohail recounted, the robber dropped to his knees, crying and begging. When the robber spontaneously even offered to convert to Islam on the spot, Sohail tossed $40 at him and sent him on his way. [WCBS-TV (New York City), 6-4-09]

I'd rather just give an infidel like you $40 than have you convert to my religion. Take it and go.

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Lastly, file this one in the I didn't know it was this easy category. Here's a snippet from the linked article:

Russian soccer fans have been told to drink whisky on their trip to Wales for next month's World Cup qualifier to ward off the H1N1 swine flu virus, the head of the country's supporter association (VOB) said Monday.

"We urge our fans to drink a lot of Welsh whisky as a form of disinfection," VOB head Alexander Shprygin told Reuters.

"That should cure all symptoms of the disease."

If Welsh whiskey cures the swine flu, let's theorize on what other miracles upon which it might be used? One wonders what horrors a shot of Jack or a teaspoon of some Jim Beam might remedy. Bad personalities, hopefully, but more than that? Perhaps not liver disease, but to think that the cures for athlete's foot, warts, cold sores, and heart disease could all be found at the bottom of a whiskey bottle or at the local still... We never knew.

Your Worst Inhibitions Tend to PSYCH You Out in the End

One day and counting! TOMORROW 10:00 p.m., 9:00 CST, Psych, Season 4, begins. I'll make these short and sweet -- my Top 10 reasons Psych is my favorite TV show:


10) Great episode names: Granted this isn't a real reason to watch the show, but if you have the DVDs and see the episode names, sort of like Seinfeld, you can relate to them by name because they stick out --

Tuesday the 17th
Black and Tan: A Crime of Fashion
Gus Walks into a Bank
There's Something about Mira
Shawn (and Gus) of the Dead
Spellingg Bee
Scary Sherry: Bianca's Toast

Because of this familiarity, they touch a little closer to home when you're laughing about them with friends.

9) Corbin Bernsen works as Shawn's dad. The obsessive cop who trained his son to be hyper-observant and let Shawn live with all his misconceptions of his parents' divorce so not to soil his thoughts of his mother - this has led to a rocky yet touching relationship between the pair that grows as the serial comedy goes along. A great side story.

8) Rewatchability of the episodes. I've got all three seasons on DVD, and there's no episode I wouldn't watch and laugh at a second, third, and fourth time.

7) The scenes where Shawn and Gus run away chicken. About two or three times each season, something happens that scares the pants off of our two heroes, and they just take off running. Those scenes are so laugh out loud funny, I almost wish there were more. But that would spoil it and make them predictable. It's great how it is.

6) Maggie Lawson as Juliet O'Hara - She wasn't in the pilot episode, but bringing her on was a stroke of genius. She's cute, perky, just believable enough in a cop role, and perfect for Shawn's love interest.

5) And since I've brought up Jules, the new twist that brought Rachael Leigh Cook in as Shawn's old flame, Abigail - the one that got away in high school - has made for a really good love triangle. I hope the show continues this for a little while. The sub-plot of Shawn and Jules attraction has been well played, and this little addition makes a nice turn. We'll see how it goes, but I'm looking forward to it.

4) The show doesn't take itself too seriously. This is pretty much true of all the USA shows, and that's probably a reason I like nearly every show. Monk's my least favorite, but it started in the right vein of not trying to be a hard-boiled cop show. Some of the characters are caricatures (like Lassie in Psych), but eventually they show human sides. Burn Notice and Royal Pains also do a very good job of this, and they're even more serious shows. I think In Plain Sight is the one that takes itself the most seriously, and it doesn't totally, but because of that, I think it suffers. Psych doesn't at all. It's not supposed to be reality, but you can suspend your belief because it works well enough as a dramedy and the fringe benefits are fantastic.

3) My kids love it. Now, not everything in every episode is kid-friendly, and sometimes I have to pause the DVD episodes and fast forward because of some innuendoes or a little too much kissing or spending the night. However, most episodes are pretty family-friendly, at least for a watcher like me.

2) All the 80s and pop culture references. The show is so loaded with them, it's hard to pick any out without just overflowing. The new commercial where the lady asks Shawn if he believes in Karma is a perfect example. Shawn's witty reply: "Of course, I do. I'm a Karma Chameleon." And Gus chips in with, "We come and go." I think my favorite might have been in Tuesday the 17th, which was an excellent spoof on the horror movies in the Friday the 13th genre, where Shawn, who was jealous of Gus' relationship as a kid with Joey Cunningham and now they're grown, states, "My least favorite tag team of all team." And Clive, a camp counselor, retorts, "Really, with the Iron Shiek and Nikolai Volkov on the table." (Those were pro wrestler villians, if you didn't know.) Not missing a beat, Shawn remarks, "You came up with that reference? Wow!" It's chalk full of these sorts of references, and they.are.hilarious.

1) The relationship, repoire, and banter between Shawn and Gus. I haven't seen better chemistry between two actors in any show... ever. They are hilarious together, touching sometimes, meaningful at others, you know they love each other as friends, and they work together on their cases so well. These are the roles James Roday and Dule' Hill will be remembered for forever. And that's gonna be a GREAT legacy for the two of them.

Psych is awesome!!! I love it! Watch it tomorrow! Is there anything else I can say?

An Open Letter Full of Tough Love

Puh-leeze, people.

You've allowed Richie Rich to suck you into his sad little cry for attention once again.
Don't enable his problem by commenting 10 times to a lame self-aggrandizing "Hey, it's my birthday" post. Actually it was only 5 comments, he doubled the number by commenting on his own lame post more than anyone else. Lame.

He didn't even post it ON his birthday. This was done so that everybody reading will immediately feel bad that they are already late in wishing him happy birthday. Sad.

Then he tops it off by telling you what he DIDN'T get for his birthday and how horribly old he is. It's all a play for a pity party, not an online birthday party. Boo-hoo.

Now I have no doubt that he loves his brother, Brich, but the whole post wishing his brother happy birthday before the fact was just to set this post up and make it look like he's just a birthday-centric guy in general instead of a "hey, look at me" guy. Not falling for it.

He can remember Brich’s birthday days beforehand, but then his own birthday just slips past him until the next day. C’mon. I mean what is the statute of limitations on "self-announcing" your own birthday after the fact. Insulting.

Make him bring the goods. Make him write a post that will change your outlook. Make him write something that makes your day. Believe me he’s capable. Don’t pander to this poor-mouthing. You’re better than this and so is he. Step it up.

And lastly, I love the guy. But there is NO way. I mean NO way that he is only 42. Have you ever seen a picture of this guy (if not, see above)?? Some of you claim to know him personally. C'mon. He’s closer to 62 than 42. 42? It is to laugh. I’ve seen guys go bald at 42, but I’ve also seen less gray hair in a nursing home. 42! HA!

There is no way that you get the kind of uncanny, soul-piercing, insight to the human condition and soul that Rich brings to the table in only 42 years. Did I just say that? Yes!

He’s thrust a lot of the lies upon you about his personal life in the past, and I’ve let them go. Chalked them up to entertainment value. True, they weren’t all that entertaining, but that’s his shtick. It’s part of the persona that he’s chosen to present here in the Realm. But this post (and the subsequent fawning that went on in the comments section) went too far this time, and I had to speak out. Had to!

We need an intervention, and we need it now!!

Otherwise, let me be the first the wish Rich a Happy 43rd (HA!) Birthday. Then you’ll all have nearly a whole year to continue coming back to this post and saying all the sappy, Rich-obsessed, Rich-focused prattle that he seems to crave so much. Please, if you’re not going to give him tough love and get him through this, then by all means let’s have a year-long stroll down Richory Lane in Richtown down to the Rich E. Cheese for a Rich party!! Ugh!

This... This... Is a Bad Idea

From News of the Weird on Yahoo, I give you this story of reality TV going just a bit too far:

LEAD STORY: So a priest, a rabbi, an imam and a monk walk into a bar ... to convert atheists, and it's coming soon to Turkish television.

Apparently believing that religious competition in the Middle East is not exciting enough already, the television station Kanal T in Istanbul, Turkey, is preparing a reality game show for September release in which 10 certified atheists try to resist conversion by a priest, a rabbi, a Muslim imam and a Buddhist monk. The exact rules have not been disclosed, but the "winning" convert will receive an expense-paid trip to the holy land of the most persuasive religion (the Vatican, Jerusalem, Mecca or Tibet). According to a July Reuters report, Turkey's Islamic Religious Affairs Directorate, not surprisingly, had vowed never to co-operate. [Reuters, 7-3-09]

Those crazy Turks. You know we Americans would neeeeeeever do anything like this (my words drip with sarcasm, if you cannot tell). You know what? I'm cheering for the Buddhist Monk to win. Ugh!

Laugh Out Loud Movie Lines

Give me any laugh out loud movie or TV lines you can think up off the top of your head... or if any come to you later. Some of my favs:

1) Several in The Princess Bride
-- "Why are you smiling, then?" "I am not left-handed."
-- "You think you're smart?" "Let me put it to you this way... ever heard of Aristotle, Socrates, Plato?" "Yes." "Morons."
-- "My name in Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, now prepare to die." "Would you stop saying that?"
-- "What about the ROUSes?" "Rodents of unusual size? I don't believe they exist." CRASH!

2) In Planes, Trains, and Automobiles: "Those aren't pillows!"

3) A Fish Called Wanda, "Oh no! It's K-K-K-Ken c-c-coming to k-k-kill me."

4) Lots from Monty Python and the Holy Grail but I'll just list three
-- "One, two, five! No three!"
-- "Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Robin. He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin. He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp, or to have his eyes gouged out, and his elbows broken. To have his kneecaps split, and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin. His head smashed in and heart cut out, and his liver removed, and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off and his penis... " "That's, uh, that's enough music for now, lads... looks like there's dirty work afoot."
-- "You only killed the bride's father, you know." "Well, I didn't mean to." "Didn't mean to? You put your sword right through his head." "Oh dear... is he all right?"

5) And then, this isn't a line from a movie, but it's a line from my younger of two sons that I had taken to Iron Man on the first day it opened with a packed theater. You might remember when Tony Stark starts a back and forth convo with the gorgeous reporter from Vanity Fair magazine. Next thing you know, they're rolling in the sack. Anyway, my son, Davis, seven at the time, yells out in the theater, "Dad, what are they doing?!" And the theater had been quiet, like it gets when folks are making out and about to do the deed. A bunch of folks around us just broke out laughing. All I said, which brought even more laughs, was "Wrestling, Davis! Now close your eyes!"

Okay, your turn!

Whirlwind Shopping Spree

Now that I've turned 42 (yesterday), here's a list of toys that I'm going to buy with all the money I was sent for my b-day by loving relatives (THANKS, GUYS!!!):

Medical bills for chest pains, Achilles, kidney stone





No, that's it.


Happy Birthday to me. Or, like I've been saying to everyone around my work that stops in to wish me a happy one, I tell them, "Once you turn 40, after that it's just 'birthday', not 'happy birthday!'."

I've become the birthday Ebenezer Scrooge. Have a holly, jolly day!!!

A CaringBridge Prayer Request

Six or seven months ago, one of the program managers at my work (at one of our offices at Cape Canaveral in Florida), a guy named Dan that I've had the privilege of working with a lot over the past seven years, was diagnosed with a type of clear cell cancer that doesn't respond well to chemotherapy. He had surgery, where the doctors took out part of his intestine and bladder, I believe, and they hoped they'd gotten it all. A week or so ago, July 24th, he had been having some fluid build-up around the intestinal region, and he went in for a procedure to remove the fluid. When he did, he was informed that the cancer had returned.

Since that time, his wife, who is a fantastic writer with a background in English and teaching, has been giving updates through the CaringBridge website. She's updated the journals seventeen times, and I've gotta say, these have been some gut-wrenching, tear-filled entries. I have no clue how she's held up enough to write these updates. From what I heard, she has had one breakdown, and I think people need that every once in a while for their own mental health and to be able to function going forward. What I'm writing here doesn't do the story justice, but I did want to summarize their story and ask for prayers for this family. I know a couple of this blog's readers/lurkers have read some of the journaling, and really I wish everyone reading my lame attempt of an update could read her words, because what she's written is remarkable.

And what she's done is tell Dan's and their family's story in these last few days. Hearing these journalings, it's hard not to put yourself in their skin and just totally empathize and sympathize with them. Hurt for them. At first Dan tried to go back to work - I even e-mailed back and forth with him during those couple of days - but that didn't last. It's amazing how fast one can go from feeling "healthy" to being basically bed-ridden because of this disease. In the last couple of days, they met with a doctor from MD Anderson, and he essentially told them there was nothing they could do. Any chemo treatment would have Dan out of commission full-time instead of the part-time he's "enjoying" currently. Basically, it's a quality of life point he's at now. All this in just over a week.

They have a daughter who is scheduled to go to college in the Northeast, but now she has to decide whether or not she should put that off. What a huge decision for a seventeen or eighteen year old. You don't go, and you may regret that decision for years to come, but leave and it might be the last time you see your father. Man oh man. Also, he has a couple of boys who aren't sure during this time how to approach their father, who probably doesn't seem like the same person anymore. They see him on the couch or floor, curled up and hurting, not really able to respond. I can only imagine what it's like for them. Dan's parents have been informed and have been prepared, but she wrote that Dan's not prepared to face them. Every single thing they have to go through, it feels like another punch in the gut (at least to me reading it). And these are just a few of the multitude of issues facing their family at this point.

Reading the guestbook and just from what I know myself, Dan's such a great person, a great boss, a great friend, and a great worker. In my business, I wish there were a hundred more Dan's. Please, please, please pray for Dan and his family.

And if you're hanging in with that, please also pray for these other cancer patients and their families (and THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!):

my Aunt Patsy, my mom's sister
Millie's sister
Becky's sister-in-law

Lastly, I don't expect this but thought I'd offer it anyway, if anyone else wants to add someone they know to our Realm of Possibility prayer request list, please let us know in the comments. Cancer's a killer, but there're other killers out there, too. Not everything's life and/or death, but if you have something troubling you that you don't mind sharing, we will pray for you. And hope with you.

A Special 15th and 30th Anniversary Tribute

Please take a moment to remember these heroes who stepped forward and made sacrifices when they were needed most. It's hard to believe that so much time has passed.

Out of the Great Northwest comes the legendary Bigfoot who eight years ago saved a young child lost in the vast wilderness and raised that child until he grew up to be Wildboy.

August 2, 1969

--------------------------------------------------

In the year 1994, from out of space comes a runaway planet hurtling between the Earth and the Moon unleashing cosmic destruction. Man’s civilization is cast in ruin. Two-thousand years later, Earth is reborn, a strange new world rises from the old, a world of savagery, super-science, and sorcery. But one man bursts his bonds to fight for justice with his companions Ookla the Mok and Princess Ariel, he pits his strength, his courage, and his fabulous Sun-sword against the forces of evil. He is Thundarr the Barbarian.

August 2, 1994/3994

Thanks to TV-intros.com we'll never forget them or so many others that meant so much.

Que' es esto?!?

A mini-investigation conducted by MonsterQuest of the creature shown in this picture has caused something of a stir among their viewership.

The show, which is usually pretty thorough in its investigation of every possible angle, clipped sketchy details of this find onto another completely unrelated story about flying humanoids. This much is true.

Allegedly, this creature/ animal was caught in Mexico in a rat trap (also shown in the picture) and continued to live in a cage for some days afterward.

The scientific experts seemed baffled after examination of its corpse, and the show ended with results of DNA testing glossed over. The result of the shoddy coverage has been a rush by loyal viewers to opinions at polar opposites. Some cry that the show aired something that they knew to be a hoax just to fill time in an incomplete episode, and others have rushed to claim a cover-up of some of the most compelling tangible evidence in any of the previous MonsterQuest episodes.

Watch online or catch the re-broadcast next Saturday, August 8th on the History Channel and let us know what you think. Que' es esto?

A Little Glen Phillips

I don't have much time today, so I thought I'd just toss out some song lyrics that move me from one of my favorites, Glen Phillips. Back in the '90s, he was the front man for the band Toad the Wet Sprocket, but since, he's embarked on his own solo career - one for which I'm very thankful. Very, very talented and intelligent guy. Here's some lyrical examples.

From his CD Mr. Lemons, here's a sample from the last track A Joyful Noise that exemplifies the grace of God.

Mouth open
lies pour out
you know we’re not leaving you, not leaving you alone now
you will make a joyful noise

Hallelujah

This is a song of thanks to the Creator also from Mr. Lemons. It's called Thank You. This is one you really have to hear the way it crescendos into a rhymic, tribal chanting at the end. It's really cool.

You made this world, You made this world
You made this world, Thank you, thank you
You gave me life, You gave me life
You gave me life, Thank you, thank you

Your love is everywhere, Your love is everywhere
Open me, open me
You sowed these seeds, You sowed these seeds,
You sowed these seeds, Thank you, thank you

You brought this peace, You brought this peace
You brought this peace, Thank you, thank you

Your love is everywhere, Your love is everywhere
Your love is everywhere, Open me, open me

And last, the whole song, Duck And Cover (bolded for emphasis by me), from the CD Winter Pays for Summer, pretty much explains itself:

Someone's in the back yard, banging on the door
Daddy's gone away, he's coming back no more
His baby's curled up on a stranger's floor
Mama's thinking family dinners weren't too much to ask for

Everybody here's got a story to tell,
Everybody's been through their own hell
There's nothing too special about getting hurt
Getting over it, that takes the work
Cause one way or another, we'll all need each other
Nothing's gonna turn out the way you thought it would
But friends and lovers, don't you duck and cover
Cause everything comes out the way it should

Blessed are the humble, blessed are the meek
Blessed are the hungry, blessed are the weak
Blessed are the ones on the other side
Blessed are we for just being alive
One day I stopped wanting anything at all
The heavens opened up like a waterfall
No use in worrying about when it ends
Just for now be thankful for what I get
Cause one way or another, a man's gonna suffer
It makes no difference the way you wanted it
But friends and lovers, don't you duck and cover
Cause everything comes out the way it should in the end

Seems like life is a palindrome
You cry when you die, you cry when you're born
In between it's all about the ups and downs
Add 'em all together, they cancel each other out
Cause one way or another, One way or another
You won't get what you wanted
You'll get enough, for sure
One way or another
Winter pays for the summer
Won't get what you wanted
What you got'll be good

Someone's in the back yard, banging on the door
Daddy's gone away, he's coming back no more
His baby's curled up on a stranger's floor Mama's
thinking happy endings weren't too much to ask for.

Glen's go so many great songs. Some of my other favorites are Everything But You, I Still Love You, Train Wreck, Easier, Thankful, Waiting, Sleep of the Blessed. And if that's not enough, go pick up a copy of the Toad retrospective P.S., which has a sixteen great songs, and almost any American adult will recognize at least a few of the tunes on that CD. YouTube any of the songs on P.S., and they'll take you back, I promise.

Just like I promise you'll love Glen Phillips' music. It's a money back guarantee!