Wanda Said the Blog Was Languishing!!! Quick Robin! To the Bat Blog!

Of course, Wanda made that comment back in late June and now it's mid-July. And the last post was in April. Ugh. Maybe it's worse than languishing. Maybe, it's just plain dead.

But that's okay. We'll be Zombieblog.

Just a few tidbits:

• No idea where Ken is at this moment. For all I know, he's ZombieKen.
• There is no worse food trifecta than mayonnaise, Spaghettios, and sugar beets. Good luck trying.
• Toy Story 3 & Despicable Me were both very cute and worth seeing, although I have to say, taking a family to the movies is no longer a fiscally reasonable thing to do. I do it anyway, but it's cheaper, for instance, to go see a pro baseball game. That said, I'm gonna be seeing Inception very soon.
• Speaking of baseball, the Cincinnati Reds are in first place at the All-Star Break! Go Reds!
• And sportswise, the Miami Dolphins open training camp in less than two weeks - HURRAY!!!
• Psych, Season 5, starts... TONIGHT!!!

We'll just see where blogging takes me here in the next few days, weeks, and months. It sure would be nice to be disciplined about something, so there you go!

Church Sign: Death and Taxes

A local church here in Huntsville has a sign up that reads:

Death and Taxes - Are you ready for both?

My answer to that is: only for death. It's April 15th, and I still need to finish my taxes. Hopefully, all you mature, independent, patriotic citizens of these United States are a little better off than me in those particular pursuits (maturity, independence, patriotism, etc.).

For what it's worth, here I am blogging at midnight. I have to laugh because there just aren't any good excuses.

Spamania

Interesting how much spam we've gotten in our comments that I rejected since we took off from blogging. I just deleted at least twentysomething ridiculous spam-ments.

Alright, I should be back blogging here in the next day or so. Stay tuned. All one of you.

Picture of a Tornado Over My Church

A tornado touched down here in Huntsville a couple of days ago about a mile from my old house. Someone caught this picture of the tornado with my church (First Baptist - Huntsville) in the foreground. Really cool picture, but a little disturbing, too. What do you think?

Headlines

These have been making the rounds on the Net (some of them are old), but they're funny enough that I thought I'd post for those who haven't seen them. I took out a couple. Even some of the ones I left in are a bit crass... but then, they're funny too!

For the record, if police are arresting folks with crack between their buttocks, I had to shower at the gym after playing basketball yesterday, and I'm here to tell you: there are A LOT of criminals down there! Hope you enjoyed these! If there are any "Headlines" you think are funny and are willing to share, post them in the comments. Please and thanks!

Work Christmas Breakfast

Here at work, each day of December one or two folks sign up to bring some breakfast dish for everyone to enjoy. Tomorrow is my day - me and a friend. I luck out in this, because the one thing I can cook is a breakfast food. Tomorrow, my workplace can revel in this great, great food:

My friend's bringing Froot Loops and milk. We rock!

Hate to Hear This - Chris Henry Died

Wouldn't normally post a random NFL football player's death, but I know Doug (DugALug) is a big Cincinnati Bengals fan. Sorry to hear about this, Douglas. Apparently on the backside of a domestic dispute with his fiance, and he falling out of the back of a pickup truck, Chris Henry has passed away. Chris Henry has had his share of life's problems and his NFL reputation wasn't the best, but at such a young age, you can always turn it around. And I was hoping he was.

I was talking to a guy at work, and maybe it's the masses and masses of media where we know almost everything that happens almost anyplace (or so it seems), but man, it just seems like there's something every single day that just makes you scratch your head. Anyways...

...so sad. 26 years old.

Peace to his family, friends, and fans.

Good News Update...

...to the Here's Another Little Something post about one of my co-workers, albeit living in a different state than I do, that I wrote a couple days ago.

Bob Sumrall was found! After seven days!!! Here's an article regarding him being found by a couple of ranchers, and here's another how he managed to stay alive. Apparently, he was lying face down fifteen miles from where his car had been found, and his dog, Zulu, a black labrador retriever, was sitting atop him, and that warmth saved his life. When the ranchers approached, the dog ran away, which is an ongoing story in this whole episode. As the matter of fact, a $2,600 reward has been posted for anyone that finds the dog. Hopefully, they find Zulu!!!

At first, Bob was unconscious, in critical condition, and treated for hypothermia. from another co-worker that he might lose some toes because of the frostbite he endured. He's since come around, and I think is in somewhat better condition.

So praises for that. Thanks to everyone who prayed. And we'll keep our fingers crossed for Zulu!

Bests and Worsts # 1

Name your best and worst of the following:

The Best Kevin Costner Movie:

The Worst Kevin Costner Movie:

The Best Stephen King Novel/Story:

The Best Worst Stephen King Novel/Story:

The Best Seinfeld Episode:

The Worst Seinfeld Episode:

The Best Rolling Stones Song:

The Worst Rolling Stones Song:

The Best Saturday Morning Cartoon Character:

The Worst Saturday Morning Cartoon Character:

The Best Holiday Dessert:

The Worst Holiday Dessert:

The Best Movie/TV Cowboy:

The Worst Movie/TV Cowboy:

The Best of the Newspaper Comic Strips:

The Worst of the Newspaper Comic Strips:

The Best of Superman's foes:

The Worst of Superman's foes:

The Best Christmas Gift You Ever Received:

The Worst Christmas Gift You Ever Received:

That's ten and enough for this round. Feel free, if you want, to add the whys and whatfors regarding your choices. Those tidbits are generally fun to hear.

Go Ode Yourself

Let's see if I have this correctly. The last post crafted up by the Diabolical Genius sounded something a little, a little something, almost exactamentally, close to word-for-word, and something a lot like this. It reads similarly to this:

Where, O where, has my little Rich gone,
Where, O where, can he be,
Not in the parlor, not on the lawn,
Not in the loo to wee.
Poor Richard does not an almanac write,
Young Dick, he nevermore posts,
No clacking of keys and no scrawl of the pen.
The virus has swallowed his byte,
The Trojan has given the Realm up to ghosts,
But the worm cannot shut up ol’ Ken.

Is anyone else catching the irony here? "Irony" is a big word and sometimes misunderstood. Let me e'splain. By my count, since this frolicking, self-serving little poetic injustice here, sixteen posts, including this one, have been penned by the the selfsame victim of this verse. The sum total written at the hand of the author of this "Ode to a Madman" post is a grand, whopping total of negative one (plus one). Zero.

Again, back to the irony. The DG scribes: But the worm cannot shut up ol' Ken.

Apparently, something other than a worm has busted ol' Ken in the proverbial chops. And just on a little bit different tack, all the "Young Dick", "wee" and "Trojan" references...

...please Kenneth. This is a family blog. And we're children's book writers.

Back on point, where is this Lord-O'-Limerick now? Where can be found the Viceroy of Verse? The Sultan of the Sonnet? Or should I say, the Queen of the Quatraine?

Anyhow, I love the irony. Don't you?

Here's Another Little Something

Over the years, on news telecasts and such, I've heard about people getting lost in mountains or when volcanoes blow or in rockslides, etc. I've heard about them. Heard. On the other hand, I've never really known or spoken with those people.

Well, for an unwelcome change, that's not the case anymore. Here's a news clipping on someone that works for one of my business' sister companies that went hiking with his dog out in the mountains of New Mexico. He didn't make it home on time, and then a blizzard hit dropping over ten inches of snow. His wife called him missing the morning after the evening he should have returned home, and the search teams started Sunday afternoon. To this point, no luck. In fact, the latest article here states that the search has failed.

Now, I don't know Bob very well, really don't know him-know him at all, but I have spoken to him on occasion for business-related subjects. I met him when he came to Huntsville once. Now, he's been missing for five days.

Just an odd, odd story. Familiar by other stories of this nature, but nontheless weird. Because it hits a little closer to home, I feel for the family. Prayers for him and his family would be welcome, I'm pretty sure.

Stream of Consciousness

Times of wonder, those Summer, days gone by. Children climbing, hiding on the bluffs. The sounds of squirrels and rabbits, fleeing from footsteps of running boys. Sweet breezes that blow through hair and into eyes, and the twilight fades and the darkness sets in. The resilience of youth is but a facade and can be seen through like Saran wrap. The chickens always come to roost, so they say and nevermore true than now. And later. Life trods on like the hull of the battleship still gliding yet deeper through the seas neverminding the torpedo that ruptured its aft. Sparrows still sing. The harvest moon yet rises. Puffy clouds still find their merry paths below azure skies. All the regrets reflected in the tears of one man's eye forgetting not the passion and devotion and hopes and teaching and some of the prayers. Where to begin, where to end, and to perservere in between, so it is and so am I.

Post D v. G

The David versus Goliath analogy is used by millions nowadays, both in Western and Eastern civilization as well as in the North and South, too. Anytime one supposedly great force challenges a lesser force, the "David versus Goliath" phrase is invoked. Obviously, as a Christian, I understand that David won that mano-a-mano duel due to the power of the Lord God of Hosts, and really any of David victories both before and after he became "King David" were also due to his Lord's empowering him and his missions. All that is true and is well to be remembered.

From a more sociological point of view, I'm wondering just how much of a mismatch this confrontation really was. Goliath was the Philistine champion, and with that title, it must be assumed that he had won his share of clashes with other men, specifically, other warriors. On the other hand, the boy, David, had for his part taken out wolves, lions, and bears with his sling, and I'm not so sure how well Goliath would have done in a cage match with one of those beasts. When Vegas was figuring the odds of the David v. Goliath head-to-head grudge match, would the odds really have been as astronomically overwhelming in Goliath's favor as we tend to suggest? Certainly, the Hebrew warriors and David's own brothers didn't give him much of a shot, but I think we've got to give it up to Saul. He must have seen something in David. According to conventional knowledge, here was the King of Israel sending what was little more than "a mere child" out to apparent suicide, and not only that, he was staking the fate of his own army on the lad. If that was really the case, Saul was one of the worst leaders in the history of mankind. He had to have seen something in David, and if so, was the outcome as surprising as the legend has become?

We all know the story. David won.

To further my point, though, this most notable victory wasn't David's only victory. No. This victory was merely the beginning of a string of military victories and conquerings throughout his life. Many, many, many. Obviously, he had his troubles, too. Saul tried to kill him. His own son tried to kill him. But David is remembered far more for his victories, starting with Goliath and then going on from there, than he is for his troubles, militarily-speaking.

And in other news, the friendly, little Miami Dolphins play the big, bad, NFL monster that is the New Orleans Saints this coming weekend...

TGIF

Ever really give any conscious thought as to why we love Fridays so much? Is it:

a) because we're lazy bums that have such disdain for work or school, we just can't wait to get away from the drudgery of those two industrious enterprises?

b) we get to, by-and-large, do household or outdoors chores rather than work-related ones, and household and outdoor chores are so much more fun?

c) because church or mass is on Sunday (or Saturday for some), and only two more days (or one) until you get there?

d) because Fridays start with the letter F, and all that that entails?

e) because most of our escapism occurs on weekends, if we don't count the ongoing daydreams during the week?

f) because our kids don't wake us up early on weekends? (Riii-iiiight.)

g) because you have dinner with your relatives or in-laws each Friday?

h) because everyone else likes it, I should, too?

I don't know. Similar to most everyone else, I like Fridays. I don't have a real good reason or any reason except bits and pieces of a) and e) above, and then there's also a minor twinge of that little feeling you get (or maybe I'm alone in this) when you walk out of work right before holidays or when you have time off for a vacation. A little lightness of being. I usually get that feeling when I leave work Friday unless I have to work over the weekend.

What about you? Like Fridays? Why? Tell me the glass half-full mind set all you optimists out there while I'm busy being Eeyore.

Anyway, as I was saying, Thank God It's Friday.

(Go Dolphins! War Eagle!)

Do Ya?

Some "Do you..." questions for The Realm at large. Only answer ones you want to, if you want to at all.

1) Do ya write, blog, or think better if you're in a carefree or melancholy mood?

2) Do ya read more than two novels a month?

3) Do ya prefer JRR Tolkien or C.S. Lewis as a writer of fantasy? Or do you prefer someone else altogether?

4) Do ya sing in the shower?

5) Do ya ever take an overnight trip or longer, just by yourself, to refresh, commune with God or nature, or just get away?

6) Do ya read non-fiction as a practice? If so, what do you read, mostly?

7) Do ya eat yogurt?

8) Do ya have a favorite holiday moment?

9) Do ya have a favorite author? Who?

10) Do ya like running for the sake of running and being fit?

11) Do ya say grace before meals?

12) Do ya like college or pro sports more?

13) Do ya dance in privacy by yourself or with your kids?

14) Do ya have a one favorite movie scene? TV show scene? Book passage?

15) Do ya have a favorite all-time villian or bad guy from a book? Who?

16) Do ya prefer reminiscing about the past or planning for future events?

17) Do ya have a favorite family game? What?

18) Do ya know of other great blogs? Tell us what they are and why you like them.

19) Do ya eat your food one item at a time or all mixed together?

20) Do ya believe that real live dinosaurs still exist somewhere on earth?

21) Do ya like the ELO song Do Ya? It's thirty years old, but I think it still rocks as much as any song today. If you like it, I've hooked on a YouTube recording on the backside of the post. Just hit the "Read More" link. It's okay. You don't have to thank me. Or do ya?

Koobecaf

In case anyone here does not yet know, Ken and I have bowed down. We're now on Facebook as "Pearce Story". Apparently, and I've tried hard -- well, I've tried as hard as I usually do with things like this, Facebook rejects the "&" and "and" usage as middle names or in first or last names. So we can't be "Pearce & Story", like we really are. We have to be Pearce Story, whoever that person is (also, if your name is Pearce Story, a thousand apologies). Phooey.

Anyway, if you're not already a Facebook friend and would like to be, "friend us". (Is that the cool way to say it?). I mean, we're really, really good at it. It's almost like our blogging. Here's a list of the fringe benefits we offer:

• Between zero and few photos


• Inane "experiences" we share with Facebook friends


• Probably not many mutual friends


• $50 "friendship fee" that Ken will mail to you personally so that we don't look like total losers... only partial - because that's important to us

For those of you who have not received your fee, please let Ken know in the comments. We'll get it right to you. The postal system these days...

[Pearce & Story not responsible as a writing partnership, or individually, for the non-payment of friendship fees as stated in the above.]

Lite Fare for Saturday Mid-Morning Brunch

• Excited about today. Ken, one of his friends, and I are seeing District 9 at the 4:10 matinee. Also, I'm angling for Ken to write the review here at The Realm as he told me he doesn't know much about the movie at all going into watching, so he's a blank slate. On this one, I'm more of the fan-boy.


• Anyone played that game Ballies online? That's an addictive little game. I just found it last week. Right now my record's 1,372,000, which, I believe means, I'm a moron but not yet a geek. I probably shouldn't ask, but any other games I ought to know about out there?


• My son's been reading some Amazing Spider-Man (ASM) comics. At what point did the heads of comic book companies everywhere decide that comics were no longer for children, and they needed to have "A" (Adult) ratings? I really think, especially with time-honored heroes like Spidey, writers could pen stories satisfying for both, without the "adult situations" that give it the label. And I'm not talking about the POW, BAM, OOOOFFF cartoon violence here. I don't mind that they do it with off-shoot Spidey comics, but the long-continuing run of ASM, that one I wish they'd have left sacred, meaning kid-friendly, at least for the most part.


• Speaking of adult situations, I wrote some of my bills out this morning. Aside from getting root canals, colonoscopies, or taxes, bill-writing is probably the least fun part of "adult-life" for me.


• My parents leave tomorrow to go back to Texas and close on their house. I'm not a big news watcher, but my mom is, and when she was watching last night, it seemed there were two big stories. One, some dude that had been on a reality show killed a model named Jasmine Fiore. Apparently, that was breaking news, and the guy was on the loose, maybe up near Canada somewhere. Is there a scoop on that? Then, and mom looked at me like I was crazy when I didn't know about this one, some chick had smothered her child, I guess, and was going through a trial. I may be wrong, and I don't mean to sound callous or demean the persons involved in these specific cases, but aren't there trials going on all over the country with similar sad stories? How do the ones that become sensationalized get that way? Well, mom will leave tomorrow, and I'll never find out the end of these stories unless someone on the blog or someone at work tells me. Keep me informed guys. Or, you can do what you want, is what I mean to say.


• I did want to ask this, off the subject of anything. With newspapers being a dying lifeform, what's going to happen with all the funnies? Will they die a slow death as well, or can the artists that render them make a living online or with graphic books? In fact, even more specifically, I wanted to know if anyone had any favorite cartoons in the papers these days. I don't get a paper anymore, plus I live in Huntsville, so we got, if I remember correctly, re-runs of Peanuts and Hagar the Horrible, some Funky Winkerbean, For Better or For Worst, the Family Circus, a few others.


• Okay, Dolphins second preseason game tonight. Usain Bolt smashed another world record - how fast is this guy? I know, very fast. Heather Locklear's re-joing Melrose Place - huh? The stock market's up to 9,500+. I'm going out to mow the grass. Also, I had sugar smacks this morning. Whew. Glad I mentioned all that. Now, I feel like a blogger! Anyone with any miscellany that you know is going on or if you have any in your life, this is the place to let us know. Have a great Saturday and weekend!

Hey! I Wasn't Done with News of the Weird Yet!

Yesterday, I "wrote" this post from Yahoo's News of the Weird as a one shot, but the were a few other notable stories from both News of the Weird and Yahoo Odd News that I thought I'd bring to your attention for, paradoxically enough, jaw-dropping-ness and discussion, simultaneously.

First, how about this one:

The Franciscan Sisters of Perpetual Prayer order in La Crosse, Wis., is now in its 131st consecutive year of around-the-clock prayer, in shifts, at its Adoration Chapel. The Sisters' ritual is based on an 1865 promise by the order's superior that if God graced their ministries with success, they would build a chapel and pray non-stop. [Journal Sentinel (Milwaukee), 5-6-09]

I have to say, I think that's pretty remarkable. Let's put this achievement another way. If we just use 130 years, the Franciscan Sisters have been praying straight for 1,139,580 hours (including the extra days for Leap Years). If I make it five minutes in prayer to my Lord without distracted thoughts -- and that rarely happens -- I consider that an achievement.

---

Here's another write-up, this one about Scientology leaders that "screw up", whatever that means:

LEAD STORY: Former Scientology officials describe a violent training program that's not quite Marine boot camp but nothing like a cloistered monastery.

Scientology trains its leaders a good deal more aggressively than other religions do, judging by the revelations by four former church officials to the St. Petersburg Times in June. In an exercise concocted by founder L. Ron Hubbard, leaders who screw up are taken out to sea and forced off a gangplank with the admonition, "We commit your sins and errors to the deep and trust you will rise a better Thetan (immortal spiritual being)." The rituals can also take place in a cold swimming pool, with the transgressors in business suits. Also, to test leaders' commitment, the head Scientologist, with a boombox, conducts games of musical chairs to reward the last man sitting (using the music of Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody": "Is this the real life? / Is this just fantasy? / Caught in a landslide / No escape from reality"). [St. Petersburg Times, 6-23-09]

I'm not a Scientologist, and really, I don't have much to say about how religions discipline their leadership. It just seemed strange enough to have made the paper, and I wondered if other people knew about rituals like this. Is the paper correct?

---

In the least competent criminals section, I caught this one that I thought was funny:

WCBS-TV (New York City) reported (illustrated with the store's surveillance video) the unsuccessful robbery of Mohammed Sohail's deli in Shirley, N.Y., in June, in which Sohail surprised the perp with a shotgun. Suddenly, as Sohail recounted, the robber dropped to his knees, crying and begging. When the robber spontaneously even offered to convert to Islam on the spot, Sohail tossed $40 at him and sent him on his way. [WCBS-TV (New York City), 6-4-09]

I'd rather just give an infidel like you $40 than have you convert to my religion. Take it and go.

---

Lastly, file this one in the I didn't know it was this easy category. Here's a snippet from the linked article:

Russian soccer fans have been told to drink whisky on their trip to Wales for next month's World Cup qualifier to ward off the H1N1 swine flu virus, the head of the country's supporter association (VOB) said Monday.

"We urge our fans to drink a lot of Welsh whisky as a form of disinfection," VOB head Alexander Shprygin told Reuters.

"That should cure all symptoms of the disease."

If Welsh whiskey cures the swine flu, let's theorize on what other miracles upon which it might be used? One wonders what horrors a shot of Jack or a teaspoon of some Jim Beam might remedy. Bad personalities, hopefully, but more than that? Perhaps not liver disease, but to think that the cures for athlete's foot, warts, cold sores, and heart disease could all be found at the bottom of a whiskey bottle or at the local still... We never knew.

Is It Possible? #1

While we know that all things are possible here in the RoP, we also believe that it is healthy to look outside the Realm periodically and watch the common folk grapple with the question "Is It Possible?"

In this installment, I give you ZeroFlush, the most efficient urinal in the world!

They may not teach spelling at Warren Wilson, but the girls in Pluming sure seem happy about ZeroFlush. And who can blame them?

They can do it just like the boys now. Or at least the girl on the right looks to have mastered it. Kudos ZeroFlush!

Happy 40th Birthday Brett!!!

Wanted to wish my brother and semi-regular commenter, under Codename: Anonymous but actual name, Brett, an extraordinary and very Happy 40th Birthday this July 27!!! This is a day early, but it's the weekend, and I may not have a chance to get a brotherly loving, heart-touching post out tomorrow, so I wanted to say Happy Birthday today. The Big 4-0!!! How does it feel man?

For your viewing pleasure, I've linked a list of other folks who share July 27th as their birthdays right here. Some of these people are famous and then, to be truthful, some not-so-famous. Ahem, anyway, I see that you share this special day with other notables such as... whoa! Here's a big one:

Alex Rodriguez - almost certainly a HOF MLB shortstop, except there's that one little... errrr, ummm, didn't he date Madonna?

Hey! Here's another:

Gary Gygax!!! Co-creator of the famous Dungeons and Dragons game!

Bobbie Gentry, Irv Cross, Peggy Fleming... it's a virtual who's who of the celebrity A-list. Except, who's Jason Buck, the defensive end for the World League of American Football Scottish Claymores? How does one such as he make such a high-brow list? Go figure.

Would it make you feel better to know that Juliana Hatfield, Pete Yorn, Bill Engvall, Norman Lear, and Shea Hillenbrand also share your birthday. And famous wrestler Triple H not only shares your birthday, but he also shares your July 27, 1969 birthdate! Wow! I know you're proud about that!

And there's no reason to feel old, of course, because 40's the new 13. Check this out!

Within a couple of years, Jennifer Garner will be making a sequel called 13 Going on 40! You know it's on the come.

And, then, as I know you're very well aware, it's never reeeeeeally a happy 40th birthday without some eerie and profoundly disturbing picture of a malevolent and maniacal clown with a meat cleaver buried in a birthday cake. Those kind of pictures just make the day what it is. And that is, very special.

A VERY, VERY HAPPY 40th BIRTHDAY, BRETT, with all well wishes and hopes for a solid 40 more from The Realm of Possibility!