From Despair, Inc.

I caught these demotivators from a post at the BHT and thought they were great. Hat tip to Rachel over there. They're calendar fronts, I believe. Hilarious. Some of my favs (but you really have to see the pics that go with them - so click on the link):

Consulting: If you're not a part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.

Delusions: There is no greater joy than soaring high on the wings of your dreams, except maybe the joy of watching a dreamer who has nowhere to land but in the ocean of reality.

Discovery: A company that will go to the ends of the Earth for its people will find it can hire them for about 10% of the cost of Americans.

Doubt: In the battle between you and the world, bet on the world.

Dysfunction: The only consistent feature in all of your dissatisfying relationships is you.

Incompetence: When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.

Indifference: It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.

Regret: It hurts to admit when you make mistakes - but when they're big enough, the pain only lasts a second.

Wishes: When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.

Profound pessimism at its best. What are some of your favorites?

Motivational Spoofs