Monday, March 27, 2006

From Despair, Inc.

I caught these demotivators from a post at the BHT and thought they were great. Hat tip to Rachel over there. They're calendar fronts, I believe. Hilarious. Some of my favs (but you really have to see the pics that go with them - so click on the link):

Consulting: If you're not a part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.

Delusions: There is no greater joy than soaring high on the wings of your dreams, except maybe the joy of watching a dreamer who has nowhere to land but in the ocean of reality.

Discovery: A company that will go to the ends of the Earth for its people will find it can hire them for about 10% of the cost of Americans.

Doubt: In the battle between you and the world, bet on the world.

Dysfunction: The only consistent feature in all of your dissatisfying relationships is you.

Incompetence: When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do.

Indifference: It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face.

Regret: It hurts to admit when you make mistakes - but when they're big enough, the pain only lasts a second.

Wishes: When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.

Profound pessimism at its best. What are some of your favorites?


codepoke said...

My absolute favorite.

Fear - If you don't have the courage to lose sight of the shore you will never know the terror of being forever lost at sea. (From memory, but I'm pretty close.)

DugALug said...

Vision - If you can't see the big picture, light a match under the rear ahead of you.

Leadership - There is no 'i' in team but there is an 'm' and an 'e'.

Encouragement - The floggings will continue until the moral improves.

Inspiration - Too error is human, but to really mess things up add management.

Completion - A job is never fully finished until all available money and hope for a profit is completely expended.

Completion take 2 - According to the Bible, the Devil's number is one less than the number of completion. That is why most uncompleted projects are living hell's.