Not on the Chain Gang

A post addressing the ills of chain e-mails is probably liable to generate some bad blood, especially as I have good friends that send them out and, more specifically, send them to me. Some of the friendliest people reading this blog may be huge perpetuators of chain e-mails. I don't know.

Here's how they usually go... at least the ones that I'm sent most often. There's a semi-heart warming story -- for me, they're mostly Christian stories or nowadays quite a few are stories are on our armed forces and some are just feel-good tales that people want passed on -- concluded by an encouragement to pass the e-mail on to seven, eighteen, thirty-five, or fourteen hundred ninety-six of your closest co-workers, friends, or family members, but they often include either a guilt-trip blurb for people that don't send them on or an admonition that you'll have seven years of bad luck or something similar if you don't pass them on.

For those sending them to me: PLEASE STOP!!! I have work to do. I will not pass them on. I've already had thirty-eight years of bad luck (with enough good sprinkled in to keep me going), so a threat seven more is not going to mean much. If you continue, just know that I won't be passing them on. I'm a horrible person, I know. I still love you even when I don't pass on your meaningful stuff. But I don't like getting them so stop sending them.

It doesn't mean I don't love our armed forces. It doesn't mean I don't like heart-melting stories about doctors saving babies through pre-born surgery with little, pre-natal hands protruding from the mama's tummy. It certainly doesn't mean I don't love Christ. What it does mean is that I don't love chain e-mails, even those from my closest friends and/or family. If you want to send me something to read, just send it. To me. Alone, or even to a group of friends. And I'll probably respond back. I may even pass it on to someone who I think might enjoy it. But once YOU TELL ME to pass it on via e-mail, it's got a whole new meaning. I'm not sending it. I'm not signing your well-meaning petitions to boycott Disney movies, to jettison politicians who vote Pro-Choice or Pro-Life, or to ban anti-Christian shows from television. I'm just not doing it. I am not a chain e-mail fan, I do not like them, Sam-I-am.

Chain e-mails are why the powers-that-be created "Delete" icons for Windows. Of that, I'm certain. And if you send me a chain e-mail, "Delete" is exactly what's going to happen.

I say this all with love. Thanks for letting me semi-rant.