Thursday, January 19, 2006

To Whom It May Concern

Due to extreme hue and cry, and general outrage, expressed by many of our kind citizens and friends, the post formerly known as "Poopy-doopy" was retitled "Yet Another Bill Mallonee Post That Reveals Personal and Potentially Damaging Information About Me" and then forever deleted from the annals of The Realm of Possibility, perhaps permanently.

I regret any harm that this post may have caused you, your loved ones, or small, gentle forest creatures. In order to ensure that posts like "Yet Another Bill Mallonee Post That Reveals Personal and Potentially Damaging Information About Me" never again threaten the pleasurable reading freedoms that we enjoy here in this fair burgh, the Council to Ensure No Silly Or Repulsive Stuff Happens In Possibility, Realm of has been established.

This council of three will be comprised of Rich Pearce, Chair; our Top Commenter, currently Scot; and infrequent, but nonetheless important, poster, Anonymous. In conjunction with our perpetual Parliamentarian, which also happens to be the dual-hatted Scot, the council will assume responsibility for reviewing the content of all posts prior to their publication on this blog site. They will also endeavor with all due diligence to remove all:
a)silly words, specifically hyphenated words ending in "-doopy"
b)uses of any euphemism for buttocks besides derriere
d)reference to any calendar year between 1965 and 1970
e)instances of the term "taking someone... across the border"
f)demands for a dental plan

In addition, the council will attempt, where possible, to increase the educational content about our esteemed founder Mr. Pearce, his children, and perhaps on occasion, his mother.

Rest assured that your concerns have been heard.

I thank you for your honest feedback, your continued patronage, and your understanding in this matter.


codepoke said...

OK, now I'm scared.

Rich said...

You just went in and gutted your well thought-out and well-stated "Poopy-Doopy" post? Boy, that seems a little rash. Of course, as you noted in the now late post, "Poopy-Doopy" isn't the most original animal. Still, if we're gonna start deleting bad posts around here, you'll soon find there isn't much left of The Realm. I'd like to call a halt to that sort of nonsense pronto.

Also, I get your CENSORSHIP acrostic (or whatever it's called), but what the heck is a YABMPTRPAPDIAM? And another thing, one more cavalier use of the three words together "Bill Mallonee Post" and we're gonna have to take this outside. On the other hand, the stuff you mention about my kids and mom is well-taken. I'll try to put a stop to that immediately.

Lastly, The Realm is a poorer place now that it lacks your quite handy use of buttock euphemisms. How about just having such a list of those around here somewhere? Mayhap in the king's treasure vault? It's tough for me to pull out anything deeper than "buns" without some sort of list.

Decent post, though. I especially like how you inserted it under my new "favorite first lines of books" post. The response I'm getting on that one is astounding, and I daresay it is a pointed commentary on just how literary-conscious the audience following my personal posts has become. Perhaps, I could come up with something more up my readership's alley. Something with the words "poopy" and, perhaps, "doopy" tossed into a title, eh? I think I hear the masses clamoring now.